What Happens When You Fail
by Fire Kitten
Summary: You always hear of the definitive hero who saves everyone and doesn’t have the ability to lose. This is a whatif investigating the laws of what happens… when you fail.


**Author:** Fire Kitten

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** You always hear of the definitive hero who saves everyone and doesn't have the ability to lose. This is a what-if investigating the laws of what happens… when you fail.

**Warnings:** Bloodshed and character death

**Spoilers: **Up to episode 25 (chapter 85)

Grab some tissues and enjoy!

* * *

"If we mess this up it's all over."

"K-Kurosaki-kun, that's a bit too much."

"Kurosaki, lower it some more!"

"Ichigo…"

"_A thousand ashes, a thousand wisdoms…"_

"She's right quit it!"

"Hey, look outside."

"It's the Court of Pure Souls!"

Words were spinning around Ichigo's head. Too fast, it was all too fast. They were soaring through the sky like a rocket, people were screaming and yelling and arguing, mostly him. Yoruichi was too quiet, Ishida wasn't quiet enough. Ichigo felt sky-sick. His world was tumbling downwards or maybe it was upwards. His mind was dizzy, his vision flashing. He could barely get his bearings, feeling nausea sweep over him, his own energy protesting against him as he tried to suppress it. It was like trying not to use his muscles when picking up a lead pipe, just about impossible and the whole ordeal was leaving him lightheaded. The sky and clouds were passing him by quickly, too much so. He hadn't felt such a great urge to throw up in years. And-

"We're going to hit it!" Ishida shouted.

Ichigo felt his heart skip a beat, his blood rushing in his ears as he looked on, seeing the barrier suddenly become a very tangible, visible entity as they got closer and closer to it.

"No choice now! Everyone pour in all your spirit power." Yoruichi ordered loudly.

The response was immediate as six different powers entered the glass ball simultaneously. Ichigo could feel the pressure of their powers combined, strangling his own. It was a rather intimate thing, being able to feel and even identify which spirit force belonged to who, but his eyes were fixated on the barrier, the place they were about to crash into.

And crash they did. The force alone was enough to rattle his bones and blur his vision. Electricity sparked around them fiercely, the heat sizzling the skin. Ichigo heard a shriek and then a vicious pain struck across his back, the burning pain intense and fiercely powerful. Everything wavered before him and then he was falling… – on the other side of the barrier. Buildings below him, stark white and jutted out like stalagmites. His body twisted in midair.

The barrier was crackling, the cannonball had broken, a motionless black form in the middle. A flash of white and pink was in his line of sight to his right, somehow knowing yet not comprehending that it was Ishida and Inoue falling with him. He was too transfixed with what was happening above. The edges of the cannonball, gleaming like broken glass fell around him. Lightning was striking across the barrier, burning it black – no – it wasn't the barrier that was black it was-

_Blood._

A wave of voltage, bright yellow, came down on him; that's when Ichigo felt it hit, blazing agony, heard screams accompanying his own. His vision darkened, his hearing escaped him, feeling left and-

* * *

Pain.

Severe, brutal pain, against his back, over his stomach, across his body. He ached and his muscles trembled weakly, the trembling causing a ricochet of new anguish to strike through him. He'd never felt something so torturous, so completely awful that his mind was half in shock, struggling to keep up with his consciousness. The world was a big blur around him and all he really understood was the agony.

_Stop. Stop! God damn it stop!_

He choked out a sob, convulsing violently, as if he could twist away from the pain. White streaked across his vision, and he let out a guttural scream. His whole body arching and falling madly, without purpose, causing more harm than good yet he couldn't stop the absolute need to try and escape. It was inane instinct that led him on, his body thrashing, muscles contracting, and cries of pain continuing loudly until his voice broke.

He didn't know how long it took for it all to stop, unable to go on due to exhaustion and strain, leaving his weary muscles with nothing but occasional spasms that struck with torment. His mind, overloaded, began to shut down until the ache was just an annoying throbbing and awareness began to kick in. It was a slow process, one that took a lot of meticulous care.

He was lying on his back, arms and legs spread outwards – his body was cold and wet – he could taste blood in his mouth – an awful smell made his nose wrinkle and he nearly retched – the wind whistled past his ears – the sky was beginning to take a shape, an great expanse of blue with splashed white – green and white were in the corner of his eyes – then the pain came back full force and a weak whimper passed his lips, physically incapable of doing anything else. He shut his eyes, trying to avoid it, but didn't have too as it slowly begun to diminish once more but a new crisis awoke as he found that his breathing was being clogged. He tilted his head to the side, coughing, a concoction of spit and blood following his efforts.

Breathing labored, he dared not open his eyes again, attempting to feel out his body, to remember what happened, where he was, _who_ he was. All he could gather up at the moment was that he was between the sky and the ground and that he was deathly cold and hurt. And wet, very, very wet. It was blood, centered mostly where the pain hurt the most, his stomach and back, caused by… what?

Ichigo… He was Kurosaki Ichigo…

Family… High school… Shinigami…

Rukia… Save her…

Soul Society… He was flying… A barrier…

The others?

The others!

He tossed his head, eyes snapping open, the sun blindingly glaring, and the sight before him was enough to send him reeling. He opened his mouth, trying to strand syllables together, trying to form words, but nothing would push past. The information began to overwhelm him, not only by the sight before him but from the flashes of memory that invaded his thoughts. Ganju shouting as lighting flashed past his eyes towards him –Chad's familiar spirit power abruptly cutting off just as a spray of blood hit his skin – Yoruichi's withering form as the barrier reformed and cut her in half – Ishida and Inoue plummeting with him, the Quincy protectively covering her just as the wave hit them.

"No…" He finally breathed out, unable to take it in, unwilling too. But the proof was right in front of him, he couldn't deny it. He couldn't!

They were dead. They were all dead.

He stared at the forms nearby him, close enough to smell but even if he reached out he would never be able to reach them. Blue eyes, glasses missing, stared at him, dulled over from death. The once white clothes were streaked with fresh blood and slashes of black; where most of the blood was concentrated, there was a deep incision in his back, just below the shoulder blades, spreading horizontally, splitting the spine. Nestled under him was another body, the edges of pink cloth and orange hair several shades darker than his own could be seen.

This was all wrong!

Ichigo grit his teeth shutting his eyes tightly and tilted his head to the other side so he couldn't see them anymore but it didn't change the fact that they were gone. Why did it happen this way? It wasn't meant to be like this! They were supposed to save Rukia and come back home heroes!

They were supposed to live normal lives.

He would never get the chance to graduate, to find a job, get married or have kids… and he stole the same privilege away from Ishida, Inoue and Chad. He should have stopped them! It had been foolish letting them come along and now it was his fault they would never return. And what had he stolen from Ganju and Yoruichi? And now Rukia would never be saved.

_I wanted to protect those close to me… I wanted to save mountains of people…How could I let them die?_

The excruciating throbbing intensified and his thoughts stopped completely. With a shudder, he began to toss again, wanting to stop it but without the means how. His hands turned into fists, the toes in his shoes curled and his body jerked as if he were having a seizure. He gasped, trying to take in air but finding it was becoming impossible once more; however, this time, even when he coughed, the blood wouldn't stop filling his throat. Desperation clouded his mind as he turned on his side, left hand clamping at his throat, right hand clawing at the ground, bringing up grass and dirt, legs kicking, brown eyes wide with panic. He needed to breathe! He could last out the pain but only if he could breathe!

Seconds seemed like hours, minutes like days. The pain, the lack of blood and oxygen, began to haze his mind. The jolting, erratic motions began to slow until his legs could only shudder, his left hand falling numb and his right twitched feebly, nails splintered. The harsh noise of his struggling breath became nonexistent and Ichigo could hear his heartbeat in his ears as it failed, the thumping irregular.

This was really it, his death.

He was really going to die.

Never to see Yuzu, Karin or Pops again. Never to take revenge on the Hollow who took his mother's life. Never to laugh or smirk or yell or smile again.

It was really over.

As everything, even thought began to slip away, a fleeting notion came across his mind. He wondered how Kon would react once he discovered he finally had a real body of his own.

Just as it ended, something else skittered past. Something he would have liked to say aloud, if he had been able to.

_Rukia, I'm sorry. I failed._

That's when the body relaxed, slightly curled, fingers imbedded in the soil, clothes torn and burnt, vibrant orange hair stained with blood and dirt and the brown eyes slowly turned lifeless.

And somewhere, far away, a morning bird sang.

* * *

Now before you start, my main reason for writing this was for imagery/description purposes. Tell me if I did a good job! Secondly, I know this might leave a lot of questions but do me a favor my lovely readers and ponder over it. I purposely tried to hide the answers so don't think it's just you. Basically I wrote this story to be powerful, tragic, compelling and a slight hero-analysis. It was a huge dive into the five senses and Ichigo's last thoughts.

My inspiration: boredom and a major interest in Ichigo. The idea came to me a long time ago, October of last year if I'm not mistaken; I just never got around to writing it. Lazy be me.

Ok, there's my overview. Please leave me a review; I'd like to know how I did! And if you have any queries, leave me your e-mail and I'll be sure to respond.

Oh yes, and don't kill me. I adore Bleach, really I do! Though, if you must hate me, do it constructively. Thank you for reading!


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